Routine, rhythm or ritual???
I’m not a woman who does routines, even though I suspect I would find life easier if they were there. That’s the key, I think, if routines we’re just ‘there’ I may be able to have them in my life.
But having to ‘keep’ a routine? Eek. Yuck. Uh-uh.
My brain just doesn’t work that way. I cannot ‘keep’ a routine.⠀
I had a psychologist once who told me I could, that I was telling myself I couldn’t and that it simply required a shift in attitude.
And that makes me sad, to think of all the neurodivergent people who may right now at this very moment going to that psych for support around their needs, and receiving ableist feedback, with a dose of gaslighting for good measure.
Anyway, I digress 😬
I much prefer the word rhythm. Rhythms can substitute the concept of a routine, but to me, by the very nature of the word, I also feel rhythms can fluctuate, adapt, change shape, stretch out, narrow down.
The idea of keeping rhythms in my life feels like I have more autonomy and room to move within my daily lifestyle, and that is a healthy way of contextualising.
Sometimes though the thought of rhythms is even too much, and that’s when I fall back on my favourite concept of all – ritual.⠀
Ritual is a concept I understand, believe in, make sense of and yearn for.⠀
As Bradley Cooper would say “tell me something girl, are you happy in this modern world?” And I would reply with a big, assertive (teary faced because of that song) “no Bradley I’m definitely not happy in the modern world. It insists on routines and my ancestors lived by ritual.”⠀
To me, the concept of ritual puts the autonomy fully back in my hands. The process of bathing as a ritual has meaning, whereas bathing because of the routine confuses me.⠀
The ritual of eating lunch, the ritual of getting dressed, the ritual of drinking from a goblet I bought for myself specifically for ritualistic drinks.⠀
This makes sense to me, this is something I can adhere to, something my brain will let me do because it’s a service to my connection to self, not simply a service to what the modern world says the daily routines should be.⠀
If you or your children find daily living difficult, find the routine impossible and therefore harmful to aspire to, you may find the concepts of rhythms and rituals helpful also.
You don’t need (early or otherwise) intervention to meet external behavioural expectations, but you may feel your abilities expand or change shape when you reframe and reconceptualise why and how you do what you do.
(And above all, don’t be tricked by health care providers who focus on fixing your deficits rather than supporting you to discover your own truths.)
You do you.
Routine, rhythm or ritual.
Big goblety love to @earth.craft xx
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