Soooo…
This will be the first video I’ve ever made about myself. And to be honest the process of getting it to you has been exhausting, daunting, exciting and liberating!
In case you haven’t worked it out yet. SURPRISE!!! It wasn’t Post Natal Depression that was ‘doing me in’ after all – it was just ol’ ASD.
The great thing about this is there’s nothing wrong with me. Nothing I need to overcome, recover from or try and move past. The downside to ASD is that it really needs a lot of management and it helps to have a community of people around you who understand – which is why I made you this video (and why OMMG exists to be honest!).
Women only really started being diagnosed with High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder a few years ago, and not because we didn’t have it as much in times past, but because a lot of times we don’t present with any ‘typical autism behaviours’.
The thing is, autism isn’t about behaviours, it’s about how your brain functions. And we need this to be common knowledge – because right now almost half of all women diagnosed with ASD have been previously misdiagnosed.
Just like I was.
(WARNING: This vid goes for 15 minutes, so unless you’re totally invested in my story here are the breakdowns FYI… 0:03 announcement, 1:20 idealistic opinion on autism, 2:07 executive functioning, 3:44 clarification – I aim to normalise (not minimise), 4:51 sensory processing, 5:24 personal/embarrassing fact, 8:22 meltdowns, 8:52 verbal communication, 12:29 my ‘worst thing’, 12:58 thought processing, 13:46 what autism is and what it totally isn’t, 14:42 if you’re autistic you’ll get what I mean, 15: 27 who am I kidding, I give you my own opinions all the time. But it’s true, I’ve never given my personal experience until now and everything else is research-based, 16:10 let’s talk! If you got through all of that – I applaud you!)
#actuallyautistic
Please share this if you or someone you know may find solace in knowing they aren’t alone. Or if they need educating, or if you feel moved to. Autism is about the brain, not the behaviours – let’s get the word out!
Allison, I can think of nothing more to say than “thank you, from the bottom of my heart”. You’ve heard our story but I think hearing yours might just be the thing that gives understanding to those around us.
I truly hope for Alice & I to meet you one day.
Thankyou so much Laura – it means a lot to know my story is received compassionately and resonates with so many of you!!! Lets make it happen!! (PS, Ill be running another worksop in Mackay in May this year ;), you’re up that way right??)
You are amazing Ali ???? love you for who you are. Thank you for sharing x
Thanks Jeanette, love your support and thanks for reading/watching!!
Thankyou so much – you just made me feel oh so not alone. Being an Ausome household this video took 1.5hrs to watch – id like to write much more – but what do you do to deal with sensory overload? How has it affected your relationship with your partner – i know it does with mine. Its impossible to get a break
taking 1.5 hours to complete anything is so relatable!! haha. I’d say yes it has affected my relationship, when I look back at past relationships (before I had kids and my sensory environment was a lot more managed so overload was not such an issue) I think they definately got the most stable version of me! But open communication, space, support and compassion have been the biggies for working through it 🙂 xxx (good luck!)
So I watched this thinking not only would it be interesting but I’ll learn a little about a friend (a friend I haven’t even met in person yet but that I adore from afar…in a totally non creepy way. Promise.). And indeed I did. I learnt about authenticity and normalisation…among other things. What I wasn’t expecting was it to resonate so strongly with me though. Whoa! I’m sitting here a bit dumbfounded and wondering what to do next. Thanks for such an insightful and authentic video Ali. You are truly amazing!
Firstly, apologies for taking so long to back to you on this one. You know what? I had an onslaught of emails just like your comment after I posted this! (If you scroll through my facebook page you’ll see a Live I recorded the day after this blog was posted which covers this question more thoroughly. But what it comes down to is this, neuro-diversity exists – we know that while brains cover a pretty standard game plan they all have their own ‘flavour’. And you may experience these things that I spoke of and sometimes they’ll come and go, sometimes they’ll cause a problem and sometimes you won’t really notice. If these things that you resonate with cause functional problems in your life and make your day to day living difficult or unpleasant you seek professional help. And IF during the cause of seeking help you find yourself owning some kind of diagnoses then GREAT! more clarity!!! The important thing to remember is that neuro-diversity is completely normal, and the only real reason you’d need to try and work it all out is if you’re struggling to a point that you need to work it out. Make sense? But this is certainly not meant to belittle your comment – message me anytime you need to. Having lightbulb moments about yourself can be overwhelming!! And you can always come to my Hobart workshop for a full 2 day showdown on how to manage all of these things if you’re up for it 😉 xxxxxxx
This is awesome, beautiful, inspiring & touching! Thankyou very much for sharing.
my pleasure lovely, thanks for your comments 🙂
Wow, thank you so much for your brave and joyful sharing. I really enjoyed watching your video. Your experiences sound very similar to mine, finding that having children has overwhelmed my self-management skills in many areas. I really liked your description of how challenging seemingly “simple” tasks of life can be (how I wish they really were simple!). Thanks so much, all the best to you 🙂
thanks Jasha, all the best to you too xxx
Thank you so much.
My pleasure 🙂
my pleasure xx
My friend sent me your link, I know I have high functioning autism but not diagnosed. My main problem is the sensory one closely followed by following more than one instruction at a time, I cope in my own way and I am normal but sometimes the just coping gets the better of me and down I go to the dark places, but life goes on so I have to work through it slowly, lonely and quietly in my own way. Drs just say I am depressed (my intire life?)???? How do I get them to understand and believe me. ?
Terri
That sounds exactly like me!! (Except for the last bit). If you can learn as much as you can about SPD and ASD so you can make your case to your dr it may help! Or try a different dr? It’s still very hard for women to get this diagnosis so you aren’t alone, if that makes you feel any better 😉 SPD is the worst, I know how you must feel, good luck with it! Xxx
Also, way more important than the diagnosis is that you’ve identified it, so now you can go about finding support and management just as if you already do have a diagnosis! Support groups and blogs,l have been a big comfort to me x
Thank you for the video! I have been struggling with the depression/isitreally thing too since having two children, and I think in large part it may be a struggle with executive functioning and sensory processing…Things I never considered until my first child was diagnosed as high-functioning autism. I don’t have an ASD diagnosis, but have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder… Although I feel like it isn’t fitting that well. I’m interested in hearing more about how you and others have dealt with the discovery and diagnosis steps. I’m still finding my way.
Thanks for your message Eliza 🙂 it’s such a personal and individual journey that everyone will go through this their own way. For me, I’d
Already identified the ASD myself so my GO referred me to a psych and I was there given a preliminary diagnosis, to me that is all I need. But you can also go through the further channels and gain an official diagnosis (this is what I would recommend for children). It helped that I could articulate my ASD traits to the GP initially, I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks for a lot of people. Also, something like 75% of people with SPD actually aren’t autistic, SPD is far more common, and EF problems can also be related to sooo many conditions. It’s a rabbit warren!! Good luck! Xx